“I am not a good public speaker.” “I am not a good runner.” “I am not a good numbers person.” I heard these three statements from three different ladies during the last three days. As I listened, shock hit me. First, the not good public speaker stood confidently in front of 70 coworkers to share her mentoring testimony with eloquent words and a smile. Second, the not good runner ran a 7 minute mile in a one mile relay. Last, the not good numbers person rattled off numbers without hesitation. What is not so good about the talents of these amazing ladies?
In my eyes, nothing because they have those talents and rock it. In their eyes, it’s not good enough based on their own personal parameters to achieve greatness and perfection. A place of greatness and perfection is an illusion. We naturally want more and more and more, so it becomes a never ending maze or a revolving door. Good is never good enough develops from the influences of comparison and competition.
An epidemic of comparison fills society today. We compare material things, relationships, careers, physical characteristics, etc. The comparison happens 24-7 with even a quick peek at your favorite social media site. You see pictures, videos, stories and personal posts that spark various thoughts including the comparison. She is really good at _____; I wish I was that good. He is really a good _______; I wish I was that good. Right then, you define your parameters for good.
Once you define that improvement is needed, you use your role model as defined in comparison and start the competition. The competition is intense and lasts until your mental strength becomes defeat. You then decide that you are okay with not being good or you reset and start the competition again. The only time self-competition can be healthy is if you are competing for your personal confidence while embracing who you are. In that situation, keep it up.
The comparison and competition cycle can be vicious and exhausting if you try to be someone you are not. Be you and focus on what is good for you, not anyone else. Define and embrace your unique personal talents, beauty and abilities. Love and celebrate the steps of progress based on you and you alone. You are good enough inside and out!